It was around 2008 when I met Pamela, a lady in her mid-80s, who befriended my mother-in-law. To my amazement, I learnt that at the age of 82, Pamela had donated a kidney as a what was then called ‘altruistic donor’. My amazement was two-fold: I didn’t know that such a donation was possible, and it seemed to me extraordinary that one could do such a thing at the age of 82; I was a mere 69 at the time.
Pamela’s story was this: her husband had died of kidney failure and she spoke of her unhappiness that she had been unable to help him. Having done some research she discovered that it had recently become possible to transplant a kidney to someone who was not a blood relative. Armed with that knowledge, Pamela became determined to donate a kidney herself to help someone in need. In getting to know her, I found that she had many qualities – chief of which was definitely determination! In her approach to the medical authorities, she simply refused to take no as an answer to her request to donate. Faced with this indomitable lady, her unprecedented case was brought before the Medical Ethics Committee. Their discussion was subsequently broadcast on the radio and I vividly remember listening to it.
The problem area for the medical profession was that the issue embodied in the Hippocratic Oath of not doing harm to the patient and Pamela’s increased vulnerability at the age of 82 was clearly an issue.
The subsequent decision to allow her to donate was of great joy to Pamela. I moved away and lost contact with Pamela but I learnt that she had gone on to live for several more years.
You can listen to an interview with Pamela and others involved in her kidney donation here. Note: everyone is assessed on their own health and a number of people in their 80s have since donated.
I did not know then how much her decision to donate would influence me and I remain hugely grateful to her for that.
Some time later, I attended a meeting at which two women spoke of the difficulties they and their families faced as they waited for transplants. As a mother myself, I could imagine their situation and it was this which firmly planted the idea of donation in my head.
My thinking went something like this: ‘at 71, I was fit and healthy and retired. I felt I had had a good life, my children were well settled and my husband was very supportive. Chiefly, I think I felt that this was something I could do so why not do it?’
My only slight concern was how my children might view this unexpected plan. I knew that the two boys, while surprised, would accept my decision, but I did worry about how my daughter, a senior nurse, would react. It was clear that she was not enthusiastic about the idea, but she did accept that it was important to me so did not
raise any objections, and from then on was fully supportive.
The assessment process at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee was very thorough; what struck me forcibly was the kindness of the various staff. I became quite embarrassed by how often nursing staff quietly expressed their admiration for my wish to donate, when to me it felt like a sensible way to help someone live an easier life.
Once the assessment process was complete and I was accepted as a donor, I did not have long to wait for a date for the surgery to take place at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. My husband was unwell at the time, but my daughter came up to be with me. I sensed her anxiety as we walked to the operating theatre, so it was very good when, that evening, she and my son looked relieved and pleased to see me, sore but content on the ward.
My salient memory of coming round from the surgery is that of the surgeon the end of my bed exclaiming with obvious pleasure ‘it was a beautiful kidney and the recipient Is doing well.”
I do frequently think of that recipient in the hope that she (the gender is all I know) has continued to do well. Since then, I have given talks to local groups in the hope of motivating someone else to donate.
I am a great believer in what I call the ‘ripple effect’ – just as Pamela influenced my decision, in hearing my story, perhaps another donation might follow on.
Eleven years on, apart from a dodgy hip, I feel very grateful that I was given the opportunity to donate and that at 85, I remain perfectly healthy.
